Fangirl Greenroom
by ramble40
Summary: A group of popular fanfic characters wait in a room for the next fangirl story to be told. Some are resigned to their fate while others are clearly traumatized. Sort of their take on having to do some of the things they do in the fics. Rated for language. Several other characters other than Silmarillion characters. Leave it to you to figure out.


_What is a fangirl exactly. When I got the chance I looked it up. This is what the Urban Dictionary told me:_

_A rabid breed of human female who is obesessed with either a fictional character or an actor. Similar to the breed of fanboy. Fangirls congregate at anime conventions and livejournal. Have been known to glomp, grope, and tackle when encountering said obesessions._

_A rabid breed. I get the obsessed part but rabid breed? Oh and by the way this is the definition of a fanboy from the same source:_

_A passionate fan of various elements of geek culture (e.g. sci-fi, comics, Star Wars, video games, anime, hobbits, Magic: the Gathering, etc.), but who lets his passion override social graces._

_He gets to be passionate to the point it overrides his social graces and I get to tackle and dry hump my obsessions. What is that all about? Which, yet again, got me to thinking what if the characters I like to write about had an opinion about the situations I put them in? What would it be? I just couldn't help but picture them sitting around in some room somewhere waiting to see what or who they would be doing next, some of them resigned to their fate and others traumatized. It is a pretty funny image._

* * *

~oOo~

Maedhros sat on the sofa next to Fingon whose leg was tapping at a rapid rhythm.

"Do you mind?"

"What?"

"Stop that."

"What!"

"That! With your leg! Stop it!"

"Sorry," he said. "Can't help it." He started biting his nails. Maedhros rolled his eyes.

"Just relax." Fingon gave him an incredulous look.

"That's easy for you to say Mr. Tall Dark and Dominant."

"Don't yell at me, I don't write this stuff."

"Yeah well, neither do I and yet somehow –"

"Are you blaming me?"

"It's just that you are like seven feet tall -"

"Eight actually -"

"- and proportionate!"

"I like to think "well shaped."

"Whatever."

They sat there in silence for a moment.

"Could be worse you know," said Maedhros. "You could be him."

He pointed to the corner of the room where a young man with pale sparkling skin and gold eyes sat curled in the fetal position. He rocked back and forth, muttering incoherently with his thumb in his mouth. Fingon winced.

"He is pretty fucked up," he agreed.

At that moment, Maedhros's younger brother Maglor walked in and laid down on the chaise across from them. He looked very pale with just a tinge of green. Fingon and Maedhros looked at each other.

"Soooo," said Maedhros cautiously, "how'd it go?"

Maglor lay on the chaise for a moment saying nothing. He squeezed his eyes shut and reached up and pinched the space on his nose between his eyes.

"He is my father," he hissed with a shudder. "My father!"

Maedhros's mouth twisted into a grimace. "Forget I asked," he said.

"Oh, do be quiet," called out one of the men in the back of the room. He was tall and lean, with dark hair and a helm with two giant horns protruding from the front. Maedhros thought it must be terrible entering rooms with that cumbersome thing on his head. He sat next to another man who sat next to him, his chin in one hand as he absentmindedly fondled a large hammer in the other.

"At least you don't have to make out with every sixteen year old girl online. I swear, if I end up as another plushie doll in one more preadolescent fanfic wet dream or end up making out any of you," he glared at a group of high school age kids across the room. The one with the round glasses and scratch on his forehead flipped him the middle finger.

"At least you aren't made to be an idiot," said the blonde with the hammer.

"And why am I always the submissive?" muttered Maglor.

"You are an idiot," said the guy with the horns.

"I mean I manned the gap –" continued Maglor.

"Oh now, be nice," interrupted yet another guy, this one in a trench coat. Maedhros noticed how he always seemed to hang around a large blue closet. "You are all pretty."

"I killed Uldor the Traitor –"

"I mean I have to make out with myself all of the time," continued the guy in the coat, "well, not all of the time but some of the time and a lot of me is pretty old, well I am pretty old but physically old as well. Although I seem to be a pretty decent kisser at any age. Or they have me with Jack who is just a wee bit eager all of the time. Gets kind of messy to tell the truth. And I –"

"Shut up!" cried many voices at once. If you didn't stop this guy in the beginning he would go on all night. Maglor's voice whined in the silence

"I even kidnapped a couple of kids and still I am the submissive!"

Suddenly a bell rang, alerting the inhabitants of the room of another story being written. The shiny guy sucking his thumb in the corner whimpered softly. Everyone stood quietly and looked at the board to see whose names would be called next. Maedhros's name lit up first.

"Shit."

The second bell rang to let him know who he would be paired with. Fingon's name lit up next. Fingon dropped his head down with a sigh and rose to leave the room. Before they could go though, another bell rang out and the letters AU lit up on the board. Maedhros and FIngon looked at each other with wide eyes, not knowing what to expect next. A strange sensation suddenly came over Maedhros and he looked down at himself with a feeling of dread.

A loud sharp crack rang out in the room and when Maedhros looked down he noticed he now had breasts. His waist and hips had shrunk down to hourglass proportions and his - with a sudden look of panic he reached down and grabbed between his legs.

"Oh no," he gasped.

"YESSSSS!" shouted Fingon.


End file.
